November 14 - 16
“There are those that are not frightened of grief: dropping deep into the sorrow, they find therein a necessary elixir to the numbness. When they encounter one another, when they press their foreheads against the bark of a centuries-old tree…their eyes well with tears that fall easily to the ground. The soil needs this water.
Grief is but a gate, and our tears a kind of key opening a place of wonder that’s been locked away.
Suddenly we notice a sustaining resonance between the drumming heart within our chest and the pulse rising from the ground” – David Abram
Across time and a diversity of cultural traditions, many people have been touched by the healing power of grief ritual.
Instrumental to allowing aliveness in life is taking time to release and honor emotion in a sacred space. In our American culture, there are few places where the expression of grief and sadness are welcome. Yet, feelings of loss and heartbreak are a fundamental part of our human experience. If the feelings are not released, they become repressed. Repressed grief becomes depression, a feeling of being ‘stuck,’ unable to access joy, laughter, even sadness.
Most traditional indigenous cultures hold that the ritualized sharing of grief provides an essential “glue” for the connectedness of a community. Grieving is one of the ways we express love for what we’ve lost, and in the process helps us ground in what most deeply matters to us.
Whether it be from the loss of dear ones, cherished dreams, places, communities, lost health, abilities and skills, dropping into the deep feelings of grief can be immensely restorative. This alchemy of renewed self concept is particularly felt when witnessed, held, and allowed to run its full course by an empathetic and respectful community who are nourished by their mutually shared support of each other.
As Sobonfu Some, of the Dagara tribe in Burkina Faso has said, “The village is the place you go to be seen.” It is this being seen for what we most deeply value that helps repair the “break in belonging,” and lets us plant the seeds of hope and renewal. Though respected Sobonfu Some is no longer earthside, her powerful teachings live on in grief circles around north Americal and abroad.
Sobonfu is the author of three books. Her most recent, Falling Out of Grace: Meditations on Loss, Healing and Wisdom, offers insight and guidance through this often dark territory.
Sunday Afternoon Song Share
Singing together to nourish the soul and re-enchant the world.
Part of my mission is to re-acquaint people with their birthright and natural ability to make beautiful and meaningful sound together. Most of the songs I’ve written are short, easy to learn, chant-like songs with several layers that fit over and around each other in interesting and pleasurable rhythmic and harmonic challenges that make them fun to sing. Group singing is one of the most ancient and primal “technologies of belonging” that we humans have been using since our earliest times, possibly before speech itself. When we make joyous and passionate song together, it nourishes our souls and offers an enlivening gift back to the natural world that made us and gives us our sustenance and our very being. When such an exchange is genuinely made, and the song finds its natural ending, often there is a sweet, lively silence in which we simply stand and hold the “enchantment,” the sense of deep and genuine communion amongst each other and with the whole living world.